12-27-2015---
All four burners on the top of
the stove are full. One with a pot of Potato and Ham soup that is just
finishing for a late lunch later today. Another is a tea pot of
water...always there to begin a cup of tea or a pot of French press coffee.
Another has a beautiful ceramic bowl filled with large white beans and
water, soaking to be made into a succulent Cassoulette, with
chicken thighs brownedd in olive oil then braised with fennel, leeks, celery,
onion, herbs, and olive oil, chicken stock thrown in along with pieces of
garlicky sausage, and extra chervil, fennel seed, salt, cracked pepper and
basil for tomorrow's repast. And last, but certainly not least, is
a bowl filled with a large ball of bread dough, rising for the first time to
later be punched down, risen again, and put onto cookie sheets to make a
beautiful crunchy loaf of French bread to go with the Cassoulette. It's a
bountiful vignette!
Sleeping in late today, I awoke and made a cup of my new favorite
tea...Blackberry and Sage. Flavored with a little raw sugar, not because
I believe it to have any healthier properties than the regular white sugar, but
because I love the flavor of it. With a little half n half, I snuggled into my
big recliner chair, propped up my feet, and began again the book that was sent
to me by my wonderful friend Priscilla, who knew I would be taken into it.
I have been reading "A Thousand Days in Tuscany France , in
particular Paris , and surrounds herself with the
ambiance that is Paris Italy
In reading the book, I'm thinking about how each holiday season, I
anticipate the season with such expectations, and have rarely been gratified
with the outcome. Each year I seem to end up depressed and sad that the
Rockwellian Christmas I imagine has yet again not happened. I over
decorate, over cook, over work, under sleep and pay for it all. This morning,
in reading passages from the book from around the Christmas time and the things
happening to them, around them, with them, I realize I need to take a lesson.
There were no gifts, save for trees, beautiful evergreens with root balls
wrapped in burlap, strewn about the house to make a small forest and fill the
house with the smell. To make being away from their old home and being in this
new place and home, more bearable and less painful for the woman of the house.
No further gifts were needed, as this came from the place in her husband's
heart where he knew her and knew what she needed.
The mild
tiff with my son this morning, had during texting, was not necessary. He
is what he is, and while I pray he certainly does love me, his actions are male
and a bit self centered and that's just how it is. I take this personally, I
get my feelings hurt and feel horrible, I say something...the "guilt"
word comes out, and then it's downhill from there. Bad form on my
part.
So I think I need to put less weight on holidays, and more weight on the
joys in my life each and every day. Expectations for certain big events
leads to a downfall each and every time. So more should be put into everyday
living and doing and enjoyment. Small simple things...calling a friend to come
join us for soup instead of a big party; going to the coffee shop with or
without a book and enjoying whomever I'm with each and every moment.
Making bread and love the smell as it comes out of the oven, even though
I know I will only get to enjoy a small taste due to the wheat intolerance, but
knowing I'll drink in the lusciousness each time I see Roy or a guest sink
their teeth into it and watch their face light up with the taste in their
mouths. A call to him, announcing our desire to take a road trip over to see
him and his family if that would be okay, and then doing it spontaneously.
After all, we are retired and have nothing to keep us from doing spur of
the moments random acts of joy!
I will
sit quietly and truly enjoy reading a book, or sipping a cup of tea; I will sit
on the front porch (once the temperatures come up above freezing again)
listening to the quiet rustles of leaves, scampering of squirrels, cawing of
ravens; I will take the time to hear, smell, listen and love each part of my
days, even when things are schifoso, knowing that without the
bad, the good cannot be enjoyed.
So to
all, a 2016 filled with being alive, being open, being amazed at life each and
every day. Going with the seasons, going with the ebb and flow, acknowledging those in our lives
that mean so much to us, and making each moment count!
Felice anno nuovo!!
